I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
