Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he puts the penis in happiness.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
