i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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