the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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