Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
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