DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
