It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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