so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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