I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
