Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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