Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
