You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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