It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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