So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
