I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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