someone get that fucking seahorse.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
