You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
