i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
