You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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