And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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