Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Your topless pictures make me question reality
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize
