The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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