White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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