Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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