You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
