they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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