Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
