You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
do herpes really smell.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
