Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Send help, water and tortillas.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
