this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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