i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
how does that bad decision feel?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
