he puts the penis in happiness.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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