Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
