We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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