Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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