So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
