My room smells like vodka and shame
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
