i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
