I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's shark week go big or go home
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
