i was rollin on her like bob the builder
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
