Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
