Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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