i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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