When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
