hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
