He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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