That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
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