So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
