u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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