his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
