end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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