like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
