Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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