She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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