He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize