Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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