can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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