if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If I die, sorry about rent.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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